Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
