They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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