If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
