she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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