Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
