I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
