She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
my poor anus
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
