I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
