He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
