Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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