I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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