...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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