So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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