It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Farmville is her only friend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
