Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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