omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
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