BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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