kristin has been a bad kristin
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize