i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
