your parents love me but you hate me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
this will be a night to untag.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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