Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize