Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
