No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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