you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
