found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
God I need to hump something, right now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
