i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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