Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
