so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize