I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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