I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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