she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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