To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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