Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize