I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
