so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
