i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
