she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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