I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He felt like a one man threesome
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
