If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
