I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My vagina is very pro this idea
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
