her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
