So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
