Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
