We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
