you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
