I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
