everyone is single if you try hard enough
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
