Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just cropdusted the office
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
