I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
