He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize