her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
