it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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