when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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