About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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