he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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