just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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