You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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