just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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