How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
