I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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