I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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