i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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