This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
