I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
