I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My life is pants optional.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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