hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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