Grow some girl-balls and come out already
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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