Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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