It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize