I CAN MOONWALK!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
