I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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