That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
