This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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